What's On
Events, gatherings, and organised disagreements in Wokesworth
Got an event?
Submit your community event (all factions welcome, grudgingly)
Upcoming Events
Rough Pub Quiz Night
Test your knowledge of obscure local history, 1980s football, and things that have annoyed Keith this week. Winning team gets a round. Losing team buys a round. Everyone drinks.
Full Moon Sound Bath & Beaver Watch
Combine spiritual healing with citizen science! Lie in the rewilding zone (bring waterproofs) while crystal bowls soothe your chakras and you count the beaver population for the council's wildlife survey.
Sunrise Yoga at Quarry Edge
Greet the dawn with sun salutations on the scenic (and slightly dangerous) quarry rim. Health waiver required. Tarquin will guide you through his custom "Earth Gratitude" sequence while quarry descendants mutter from a distance.
Emergency Parish Council Meeting RE: Beavers
Twelfth emergency meeting this year to address the "beaver situation." Rewilding supporters will explain why 47 beavers is "a success story." Locals will explain why their gardens are flooded. Compromise unlikely.
Protest Against the Protest Against the Cycle Lane
Counter-demonstration to last week's demonstration. Bring signs, reusable water bottles, and be prepared to argue about infrastructure for 3 hours. Refreshments provided (plant-based only).
Sandra's Pie-Off
Annual pie-making competition. Categories: Meat, More Meat, and Mostly Meat. Vegetarian category cancelled due to lack of entries (again). Judge: Sandra herself. Her decision is final and terrifying.
Sourdough Starter Naming Ceremony
A sacred ritual welcoming new sourdough starters into the community. Bring your starter, its birth certificate (feeding log), and be prepared to share its origin story. Tissues will be available.
Annual Competitive Tutting Championship
Wokesworth's premier disapproval competition. Categories include: Passive-Aggressive Tut, Shocked Intake of Breath, and the Freestyle Disapproving Glance. Last year's champion, Doris Whittle (87), will be defending her title.
Disclaimer: Attendance at any Wokesworth event may result in exposure to strong opinions, passive-aggressive commentary, and/or sourdough. The Discover Wokesworth team accepts no responsibility for faction-related confrontations, beaver encounters, or existential crises triggered by £18 deconstructed pies.