The Hidden Gem of the Peak
(Whether you wanted it found or not)
Welcome to Wokesworth, where artisan sourdough meets meat pies, rewilding meets quarrying, and three factions battle for the soul of a small market town.
Welcome to Wokesworth
Nestled in the heart of the Peak District, Wokesworth is a unique market town where artisan sourdough shops sit next to proper pie shops, where rewilding projects compete with quarry heritage, and where three distinct factions have been locked in a passive-aggressive cold war since approximately 2019.
Meet The Factions
Wokesworth's rich tapestry of community life is woven from three distinct threads, each convinced the other two are completely wrong about everything.
The Eco-Transition Set
Middle-class newcomers who moved here for 'the community' but mainly stay for the Instagram opportunities. Known for: kombucha brewing, competitive virtue signalling, and saying 'actually' a lot.
Quarry-Descendant Locals
Families whose great-great-grandads broke rocks so these newcomers could have nice limestone garden walls. Suspicious of anyone who arrived after 1990. Known for: proper pints, meat pies, common sense.
Rough Pub Regulars
The regulars who've been propping up the bar at the Local Rough Pub since before anyone can remember. Half on the dole, half cash-in-hand. Stella drinkers, fruit machine addicts. Known for: darts, scrapping on Fridays, unsolicited opinions.
Don't Miss
Wokesworth's finest attractions (opinions may vary by faction)
Wokesworth High Street
Where a deconstructed pie costs £18 and the locals haven't stopped tutting since 2021.
What Visitors Say
"Absolutely transformative experience. I found my true self at the sunrise yoga retreat, and also lost my car keys somewhere in the rewilding zone."
Tarquin St. John-Smythe
London (originally)
"Went for a pie. Pie was good. Rest of town's gone bloody mental if you ask me."
Dave Grindstone
Wokesworth (born and bred)
"I've been coming to the Local Rough Pub for 40 years. Used to be just a pub. Now there's bloody yoga in the car park. Still, the Stella's not changed. £4.80 a pint though, thieving bastards."
Old Maurice
The corner seat